Taking the Awe out of Autism

One of my recent blogs, What I Believe and What I Know, was featured on the Autism Speaks blog, In Their Own Words. I began my essay with a short description of all the activities that Jacob and I used to enjoy when he was young. My goal was to stress that sharing quality family time together is beneficial for both parents and children. My essay went on to explain my thoughts about having a child with a disability and how I’ve come to understand the many ways in which Jacob's disability has given me the wisdom to see beyond it. Autism Speaks also features the blog on their Facebook page; for my essay, over 500 people hit the "like" button and almost 100 people posted positive reveiws in the comments section on both Facebook and In Their Own Words. “Thank you for sharing”, “”I really connected to your words”, “This is a wonderful testimony”, and “Beautifully described” were just a few. Everyone loved my essay, everyone that is except for one reader named Andy. He wrote,...

There are more moms just like me! Autism - Day by Day: CLEANING-UP ATTITUDES ABOUT AUTISM

Jacob will be 17 on the 30th, and it doesn't seem possible that he's grown up to be the young man that he is today. But here he is and here I am. He just starting at the local high school, the first time he's been enrolled in public school in almost 13 years. Me figuring out if I'm returning to college for a Masters in Social Work after graduating with a bachelors degree almost 30 years ago. I've never been one to plot out my future in great detail, but I have set goals that I've accomplished. I graduated from college and worked in various jobs the entertainment industry. Getting married and having a child was not something I felt like I had to do, but I did by following my instincts, doing what seemed right, and then happily living with the results. Overall, I'm content with my life. In retrospect there's not much I would have done differently. In high school, I would have been more confident and enjoyed activities I was too insecure to tr...

Jacob just showed me that if he studied, he could do well. Over the summer, he attended the AAA driving school and failed both the mid-term and the final exams. Tonight, the class instructor offered retakes of each test, and he passed both. It feels good to be proud of my son for accomplishing something. He’s never been motivated to study, and this is the first time he’s applied himself and succeeded. Next is the written test at the DMV, so he'll have to study some more to pass. That test is 60 questions and he can miss no more than 8 questions. He’ll have up to 3 opportunities to retake the test if he fails. I’m seeing other bits of emotional growth with Jacob. It’s really nice to see him show interest about what I think and how I feel. He’s had a week to study for tonight's tests, and he's not been trying very hard. I’ve been telling him if he did his best, even if he failed, I’d be proud of him. But, if he didn't study and failed, I’d be disappointed. A...

When Jacob was diagnosed at age 3 1/2, I was fortunate to receive a lot of services from both LAUSD and the Westside Regional Center including speech and occupational therapy, in-home behavior support, a one-on-one classroom aide for several years, many hours of respite, and summer camp placement when school was out. Everything was provided at no cost to my family, and most were freely offered without a request from me. I think my situation was somewhat unique as some families of children with special needs that attended school with Jacob had to go to court to get some of the same services. So I was extremely fortunate that I was able to get what I needed for Jacob without much of a struggle. At that time, we lived in beautiful and affluent Pacific Palisades, a Los Angeles coastal community situated between Santa Monica and Malibu. I'm sure the income level of the area is not much different today than it was when we moved to the neighborhood in 1994, and it may even be higher...

Jacob will soon be starting 10th grade at Culver High School, and he's not really concerned or excited about it. In fact, he doesn't seem to act like he cares much at all. He's typically pretty low in regards to his own internal motivation or enjoyment levels and anything outside of U Tube, the internet, movies, South Park, Family Guy, Steven Colbert and hanging out with his pets is something he considers to be a chore and not something that could be a potential source of fun. He's already made up his mind that High School is going to be boring. He's not happy about the 8AM start time and the homework that he'll have to complete each night. He has two buddies from his previous school that he regularly telephones and has over for sleepovers at our house, so new friends don't interest him. He thinks girls are ok, but he doesn't care about a girlfriend. So Jacob is totally at ease with the prospect of starting a new school. Me, on the otherhand, no...

I remember when Jacob was diagnosed, one of the first services I implemented was speech therapy. Jacob was verbal, but he needed help in learning how to use his speech. Beginning at age 3 1/2, he was taught concepts like rhymes, antonyms, synonyms, and the basic usage of speech that he wasn't able to master on his own.  One of the areas his therapist targeted was Jacob's lack of eye contact, something common for children on the autistic spectrum. I was taught early on to constantly remind Jacob to make eye contact with anyone who conversed with him. I witnessed a mom doing the same thing on Saturday with her young son. Each month, the Autism Society and AMC theatres nationwide have a monthly Sensory Friendly Screening of a newly-released major motion picture. The lights are slightly up, the sound is slightly down, no previews or commercials are played prior to the showing, kids can walk around and parents are free to let their child bring food and toys into the theatre. It...